When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel
that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my
problem, you have failed me, strange as that my seem.
Listen! All I asked, was that you listen. Not talk or do – just hear me.
Advise is cheap: 10 cents will get you both dear
Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, all I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not
helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need
to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and
weakness.
But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do
feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying
to convince you and can get about the business of
understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious
and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand
what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for
some people because God is mute, and he doesn’t give advise
or try to fix things. "they" just listen
and let you work it out for yourself.
So please listen and just hear me, and, if you
want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I’ll
listen to you.
ANONYMOUS
